That sounds nice, but I do have to check up on the others.
[ Rean was a little tired, but he was a bit of a workaholic, rip. ]
...Yes, that's right.
I'm sorry to ask about something so personal, but I really couldn't ignore anything like that. It's alright if you don't want to talk about it either, and in that case, I want to tell you that I'm always here if you need anything, Dazai.
[ Usually when the subject of his injuries come up, people tend to just roll with whatever excuses he provides and don't try to offer help. Not even his friends have tried to reach out to offer a lifeline. There's always been a respectful space there.
Rean is actually offering to help. Dazai knows it's probably because he's a good guy and an instructor, but it still is something he's not used to. His eyes are widen and he's quiet for a moment. ]
[ Talking foolishly about all the ways to die has made his subordinates nervous in the years.
At the next thing, he'll feign surprise for a moment. ]
That makes it sound like you were expecting me to ask for something inappropriate.
[ He leans in closer, moving to encircle a hand around Rean's wrist as he presses a finger against his pulse point there. ]
At the end of trial, you had an interesting reaction to the mention of curses. You put your hand on your chest around where that scar is. Are you cursed with something?
[ ...For his credit, Rean did well in keeping his expression neutral, but he could only keep it for so long.
Especially knowing he couldn't hide anything from Dazai. Not like this. ]
...I don't know what it is, exactly. [ Truthfully, honestly speaking. ] But it's not anything I'd like to consider anyone being burdened with.
I just think that if it's something I've had since I was young, then judging by the fact they couldn't—or wouldn't—disable what Suzaku had, then it must be the same for me.
[ Rean wondered why he let the other man do that to him, but he was so distracted by the question that he felt like he couldn't even move. And he felt the finger against his skin, which was even more distracting. ]
It's—they call it my "ogre power", for lack of being able to call it anything else.
[ He looked embarrassed but also...he was a little scared and his own insecurities were threatening to bubble to the surface.
One of those would be that he wouldn't surprised if anyone had called him a monster, upon hearing that. ]
[ He notices the embarrassment, but he's not sure if it's from his little touches or the topic of conversation. Then he figures he might be afraid or worried. ]
[ His finger will lightly rub at the collar of his shirt for a bit before he released a sigh. ]
I've been able to control it recently, but that was because of a charm I used to have, which I don't have here. Also...anger is the trigger. Listening to reason is hard when I'm in a state like this as well.
[ He's still afraid Dazai won't look at him the same. But he'll try to keep a brave face. Everything was fine, he's fine. ]
It's...something a friend of mine made for me. She's a witch, and she was able to create an object that'd hold my ogre power in check, even if I had to use it. It was held up with a little chain like a necklace.
[ He'll pause, thinking about it. ]
...Yes and no, it'll depend on far I've gone, and how long I could be distracted enough to calm down.
[ ...He'll notice, and he'll have a brief internal war about whether or not he's still not being judged. It really was a huge thing he was insecure about. Still, he wasn't fidgeting anymore, so there was that. ]
[ He'll pause, listening to the other's words for a moment, and coming to a...realization of sorts.
Dazai was still willing to work with him, wasn't he? He felt some guilt swell that he was willing to even put himself in danger, but if it got to that point, it wasn't like they wouldn't have any other options. And then he felt the hand on his shoulder.
Lilac eyes flickered from the hand to Dazai as he explained his ability he had back on his homeworld, before closing, and then he moved a hand to rest on the one atop his shoulder for a little bit. ]
...Thank you.
[ His voice was soft, and even with that guilt, that insecurity, he had to say it to the other. ]
[ If anything he just looked a little amused when he removed his hand. There's a little bit of exasperation as well but it's mixed with some fondness because he's become accustomed to how Dazai was. ]
I think we already have, haven't we?
[ And then that all those emotions turned into some semblance of relief. He'll always be hard on himself when it came to this and a few other issues in particular, but it did take some stress off his shoulders. ]
[ He let's his hand drop from his shoulder after that. This never happened. ]
That was a reward.
[ For giving up when he did. There's a pause as he thinks about it. He doesn't have to put on too much of a show since it's Rean and he doubts the two will really meet. ]
As long as you promise not to tell anyone I talked about him.
[ Holding a finger up over his own lips to signify that it's a secret ]
[ Sorry man, Rean will remember it as something that's happened. If anything, he was hardly bothered by them linking hands by now... ]
A reward?
[ He'll blink, but then he'll move right along. When the brunet asked him to make a promise, the man's expression sobered up as he looked him right in the eyes. ]
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Mm, I agree.
[ He'll almost smile at the teasing, if it weren't for what he was about to bring up. ]
As always you're messing around, but...there was something I wanted to talk to you about. It's about what I saw at the trial.
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[ He already knows Rean will take it similarly as he did with the sleeping together comment in trial.
Dazai can already guess what Rean is going to bring up just from his expression alone. ]
The strip searches?
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[ Rean was a little tired, but he was a bit of a workaholic, rip. ]
...Yes, that's right.
I'm sorry to ask about something so personal, but I really couldn't ignore anything like that. It's alright if you don't want to talk about it either, and in that case, I want to tell you that I'm always here if you need anything, Dazai.
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Maybe later then.
[ Usually when the subject of his injuries come up, people tend to just roll with whatever excuses he provides and don't try to offer help. Not even his friends have tried to reach out to offer a lifeline. There's always been a respectful space there.
Rean is actually offering to help. Dazai knows it's probably because he's a good guy and an instructor, but it still is something he's not used to. His eyes are widen and he's quiet for a moment. ]
suicide talk
You've already seen that they are old scars. I haven't been actively trying to kill myself for a while.
[ Just don't ask about passively ]
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...I see, I'm glad to hear that you haven't. Also, thank you for telling me that, Dazai.
I understand talking about this was probably difficult for you.
[ He didn't want to assume, but also this kind of personal thing he knew wouldn't be said so easily by most. ]
Is there anything you want to ask from me in return?
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[ Or at least that he likes talking about dying at some point. He'll pat the spot beside him on the bed. ]
Are you sure you want to give me that power? I could ask something really embarrassing.
[ Already switching back to being playful just like that. There is something he's curious about. A couple of somethings... ]
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[ Rean will settle himself beside the other on the bed after the silent invitation. ]
Thank you for the warning. Asking for anything inappropriate is banned.
[ He'll smile as he said that, because he could sense the playfulness coming back like a boomerang. ]
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[ Talking foolishly about all the ways to die has made his subordinates nervous in the years.
At the next thing, he'll feign surprise for a moment. ]
That makes it sound like you were expecting me to ask for something inappropriate.
[ He leans in closer, moving to encircle a hand around Rean's wrist as he presses a finger against his pulse point there. ]
At the end of trial, you had an interesting reaction to the mention of curses. You put your hand on your chest around where that scar is. Are you cursed with something?
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[ And well, that wasn't a question he expected was thrown his way. ]
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Especially knowing he couldn't hide anything from Dazai. Not like this. ]
...I don't know what it is, exactly. [ Truthfully, honestly speaking. ] But it's not anything I'd like to consider anyone being burdened with.
I just think that if it's something I've had since I was young, then judging by the fact they couldn't—or wouldn't—disable what Suzaku had, then it must be the same for me.
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[ Keeping his hold there for a moment, and then he'll light graze the skin with his finger before letting go. ]
What is it that you have?
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It's—they call it my "ogre power", for lack of being able to call it anything else.
[ He looked embarrassed but also...he was a little scared and his own insecurities were threatening to bubble to the surface.
One of those would be that he wouldn't surprised if anyone had called him a monster, upon hearing that. ]
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Does it take over you like Suzaku's Geass?
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Yes and no, depending on the situation. I still have a personality of sorts when the power is in effect.
[ He'll hesitate. He should say some more about it, maybe, but...he wanted to make sure of something first. ]
Can you promise to keep it to yourself? Unless...something should happen.
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I promise. I won't tell anyone.
[ His personality is one part gremlin and three parts secrets. ]
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I've been able to control it recently, but that was because of a charm I used to have, which I don't have here. Also...anger is the trigger. Listening to reason is hard when I'm in a state like this as well.
[ He's still afraid Dazai won't look at him the same. But he'll try to keep a brave face. Everything was fine, he's fine. ]
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What kind of charm? Maybe they have it at the shop? I got some...odd clothes from that.
[ That also doesn't bode well considering some of the others are opportunists. ]
You said listening to reason is hard, but you might still be able to be talked out of that state, right?
[ Though Dazai might not be the best to do so. Also it doesn't seem like he's looking at Rean any differently. ]
This would be a lot easier if I still had my ability.
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[ He'll pause, thinking about it. ]
...Yes and no, it'll depend on far I've gone, and how long I could be distracted enough to calm down.
[ ...He'll notice, and he'll have a brief internal war about whether or not he's still not being judged. It really was a huge thing he was insecure about. Still, he wasn't fidgeting anymore, so there was that. ]
What kind of ability did you have?
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It's a good thing I'm around then. I'm pretty great at being distracting when I need to be.
[ Giving him a couple pats on the shoulder before leaving his hand there. ]
Nullification. I can nullify other abilities.
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[ He'll pause, listening to the other's words for a moment, and coming to a...realization of sorts.
Dazai was still willing to work with him, wasn't he? He felt some guilt swell that he was willing to even put himself in danger, but if it got to that point, it wasn't like they wouldn't have any other options. And then he felt the hand on his shoulder.
Lilac eyes flickered from the hand to Dazai as he explained his ability he had back on his homeworld, before closing, and then he moved a hand to rest on the one atop his shoulder for a little bit. ]
...Thank you.
[ His voice was soft, and even with that guilt, that insecurity, he had to say it to the other. ]
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His brown eye lowers to look at that hand over his. Between that and just how soft Rean was in this very moment...
It felt too bright for someone like him. Shifting his hand a bit to lace their fingers together. ]
If you wanted to hold hands...
[ The teasing note is there. Maybe it'll ruin the mood or Rean will realize he's making a mistake showing this much gooey center to him.
He'll give him something in exchange for giving him this much. Maybe it'll ease that guilt he can see in Rean's expression. ]
Don't worry about it. I often get partnered up with this brat who loses himself to his powers.
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I think we already have, haven't we?
[ And then that all those emotions turned into some semblance of relief. He'll always be hard on himself when it came to this and a few other issues in particular, but it did take some stress off his shoulders. ]
...Do you mind if you tell me what he's like?
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That was a reward.
[ For giving up when he did. There's a pause as he thinks about it. He doesn't have to put on too much of a show since it's Rean and he doubts the two will really meet. ]
As long as you promise not to tell anyone I talked about him.
[ Holding a finger up over his own lips to signify that it's a secret ]
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A reward?
[ He'll blink, but then he'll move right along. When the brunet asked him to make a promise, the man's expression sobered up as he looked him right in the eyes. ]
...I promise. Your secret is safe with me, Dazai.
woooooords
beautiful words
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